It's best to steer clear of your dynasties, but donchya know it's hard when yer mama was the homecoming queen.
lyrics
BEAUTY QUEEN
Brother never leaves the basement
Sister cowers in her 9 to 5,
It’s been exactly three an’ a half hours since I last got high.
Dad was a swimming shark,
Captain of the football team.
Ya know that buck-toothed frock
even pulled the homecoming Queen.
Doncha know my mama was a Beauty Queen?
Again and again and again.
You betcha my mama was the Homecoming Queen.
Uncle Joe’s never been the same
since he got in that last Harley crash,
Little cuzzin Jimmy in a halfway house
fresh out of rehab.
(Jimmy boy what happened to you?)
Ya know I swear his old man
was born with a can in his hand,
If he rolls that van one more time he gonna be dead.
And doncha know that be so sad.
Again an’ again an’ again.
Crocodile smile ya better get yer ass back in check.
Don’t become another kamikaze next of kin,
Another pile-up waiting to happen,
Better buckle up tight, pull them straps right in!
Marie Darlene stole a car,
Made it far as North Dakota,
Ya know they hauled her ass back
an’ through her into a wilderness camp.
(chopping wood and all that jazz)
When ma and pa went to pick her up,
Their truck crashed down the pass,
Papa almost drowned, ma nearly broke her back.
An’ doncha know that be so sad.
Again an’ again an’ again.
Ma I won’t go steppin on them sidewalk cracks.
Jus’ don’t become another kamikaze next of kin,
Another pile-up waiting to happen,
Better buckle up tight, pull them straps in!
Yer a jack-knife slicing up chunks of sin,
Calling in the nieces of distribution,
Grandpa was a lech, grandma found gassed in her car!
(You know pa found her in the garage?)
Again an’ again an’ again.
(Can ya picture it, can you, what that swimming shark saw?)
Brother never left the basement,
Sister died in her 9 to 5,
An’ once I finish this song ya know I’m gonna get real high.
If there’s a warning here,
It’s to steer clear of yer dynasty,
But doncha know it’s real hard
when yer mama was the homecoming Queen?
She was a beauty Queen,
Again an’ again an’ again,
Betchya bottom dollar my mama was the homecoming Queen.
credits
from LaZY SHaRKs,
released December 24, 2020
Rasp Thorne - Vocals, 12 String Guitar
Peter Bailey - Piano
Hugh Jones - Lapsteel Guitar
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